written by Blain Newport on Wednesday, September 23, 2009
GAME JOURNALS CONTAIN SPOILERS. DEAL WITH IT PINK BOY.
I bought Saint's Row 2 a long time ago. It was unplayable. I felt cheated. But it turns out that the only reason every time I got in the car the game sped up %150 was because I hadn't updated my video drivers.
Yeah. Apparently. It's still a really bad PC port. Any time I drive anywhere fast, the loading of new terrain makes the game stutter so horribly that the race events are largely unplayable. But it's got a spirit of nonsense and mayhem that even lousy performance can't completely kill.
You can shoot rival gang members in the face.
You can blow up cars with RPGs.
Ha ha ha! That guy flew out of his car on fire!
And you can blow up a trailer park with your gang. Remote sticky bombs are probably the greatest thing in all of gaming.
You can also make your character really scary looking, but I didn't do that. Some of the guys from the Penny Arcade forums are playing fat men in lingerie and sombreros. Yikes. I prefer committing atrocities as a stylish urban Asian lady for some reason. (What is wrong with me?)
Maybe some day I'll have a computer beefy enough to overpower the loading hassles and make the game good. But I had some fun and got some nice pictures out of it.