01 May, 2006

WoW Ennui and More JO Madness (JO)

Well, that didn't go anywhere. I've been playing plenty of Joint Ops. I will post pictures tonight. It's not like I have anything else to do. My roommate is always playing WoW when I get home. The fact that I came home to see him and my other WoW friend running Gnomer without me (and my spending more than a day trying to run it with pick up groups to no avail) have begun to turn me to actively hating seeing that game up when I get home. It's just a reminder to me of how little I mean to my "best" friends. Meh.

At least my Joint Ops buddy is keeping things hopping. He mostly pilots while I satchel and grenade launcher the poor shmucks below. The frightening thing is we do really well that way most games. Once in a while you'll have competent opposition that prioritize you as a target and can actually do something about it, but mostly we just mop up. We had some fun the other night because the other team full of assclowns put a dozen people on a chopper and flew it into our base. I guess they thought if one guy with a grenade launcher was cool, twelve guys with grenade launchers and rockets would be spectactular. They weren't entirely wrong. They did some good stuff. But that was until we prioritized them as targets. My friend was piloting and refused to get close enough for me to use my satchels. So instead we had a whirling firefight, heli against heli, until we shot enough losers off of their skids and roof to make them head for the hills. It was like a knife fight from west side story. Classic. Still, the most kills I've ever gotten with one satchel was ten. I would love to beat the record.

After that map (Bumbu Channel) comes Karo Highlands. It was there that the legend was born: The Legend Of Daniel B. Hahaha. Daniel B was some guy who thought he could snipe our main base just by parking a heli behind a hill and crawling over. We repeatedly lobbed grenades on his head. We got so fond of killing him that we started typing messages into the general chat about the legend of Daniel B. It was sort of a Davy Crockett thing. I was even working on a song. Needless to say we were disappointed when he gave up the strategy. As such, we started base raiding the other team. There is nothing quite as satisfying as dropping one satchel on the middle of the joint ops roof full of helis, detonating it while your back is turned, and coming about to see a completely clean building, as though no helis were ever there. It's cleansing.

We've developed a small following online as well. There are some players that will switch teams to join our "Nade Bird" of destruction. We are a loyal group, going out to pick up other members. We've actually gotten pretty good at jumping into the helicopter as it flies by us at full speed while we are in the water. Hilarious. And a few times we've even managed to switch choppers in midair. That shuts up the people who think we're just assclowns real quick. Of course, we are just assclowns, but we're badass assclowns. :)

Speaking of which, let me describe a technique my partner in crime has perfected which still amazes me. The helicopters in joint ops can actually fly partly underwater, sometimes largely underwater. Who cares, right? Well, imagine this scenario. We're chasing an enemy boat when the driver (maybe coming under fire from one of our APCs or just panicked because we're yelling and shooting at him from our chopper) dives overboard. He thinks he'll swim safely to shore (or into a friendly APC or whatever). I immediately jump off the skid, knife in hand, to go and carve up his giblets. My friend flies around like crazy to get the guy in the water to take a shot at him so I can catch up and slice him. But my friend realized that since the chopper can dip it's beak in the water, maybe there was more he could do.

I'm swimming up behind a guy who's trying to sneak onto a friendly nade boat and kill our guys bombarding the enemy base. I'm right behind him, but can't close the distance. We're ten feet away from the friendly boat. He's gonna make it.


What the hell was that!? There is no way in @#*& I just saw what I just saw. That did not happen. Oh crap. It totally did!

Flying right next to the boat, my friend had dipped the heli's nose into the water right in front of where I was swimming while flying at full speed. HE RAN THE GUY OVER WITH THE HELI UNDERWATER!!!

I mean, it was ridiculous and hilarious enough that he had gotten to the point where he could smush unmoving enemy snipers and stupid enemy troops under his skids, but underwater hit and run!? He does it all the time now and still I can't believe it. It's like watching a quick wipe in a movie where one second a guy's alive, the next second he's doing the dead man's float, but an underwater helicopter is doing the wipe. Inconievable!

Some days, Joint Ops is all I live for.

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