19 August, 2005

Just a Snippet (JO)

No new games today, just another Joint Ops screen shot (or two). My buddy Mike and I have discovered many ways to make assclowns of ourselves, but no matter how dumb we are, there's always someone dumber. Observe.

For those of you not familiar enough with the game to understand the sheer brilliance of this maneuver, I shall explain. Before the expansion pack, there were no parachutes in Joint Ops. Out of concerns for game balance (or perhaps just not wanting to bother), there are no chutes in the old maps. On water maps, that's not such a big deal as you can drop into water from half a click up and not even muss your hair. But what if you absolutely just have to drop onto land? You could use a chopper, like my buddy Mike and I usually do. I discovered that if you leave the pilot seat, the chopper heads straight down at maximum speed and takes no damage when it lands. But that is still pretty risky as surface to air missiles still track you, and any schmoe with a rocket launcher can probably hit a still fairly slowly descending, helicopter sized target.

But suppose you're not in a helicopter? No. Suppose you're in an inflatible raft. Yes, that's right, a raft. Because it's pretty easy to get a raft stuck on land, the programmers of Joint Ops allow rafts to move very slowly across it. It'd be faster to pick it up and carry it, but whose got time to write that code. And code to handle a raft exploding if dropped from a great height? Like that's ever gonna happen. As a result, you can drive a raft up into a transport chopper, fill it up with up to four assailants and drop them like a rock on the enemy base. No fuss, no muss, no... freakin'... way. Possibly even more hilarious, the three guys in the picture all have names indicating that they are two corporals and a sargeant in the US Marine Corps, and if you look very closely, you can see where one of the guys in the boat (the corporal in the middle) is asking if anyone wants to join the marines.

If war was this goofy, me and my army of flying robot monkeys would have already conquered the world.

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